Game officials say that Marin County’s wildlife population has rebounded to the point where animals qualify for “annoying” status, meaning they are absolutely everywhere, often making obnoxious noises and generally causing all kinds of problems.
“This is where we wanted to be, and then some,” said Hank Toff, head of ecosystem restoration for the region. “Species that were once critically endangered in this area are now a dime-a-dozen, and actually starting to bother people quite a bit.”
Examples of nature’s tiresome abundance in Marin are impossible to avoid. Rafters of buff and insouciant turkeys block roadways, thuggishly daring motorists to disrupt their pointless meandering. Mobs of greedy deer loiter outside homes, waiting for residents to leave so their yards can be turned into restaurants. Packs of coyotes fill the night with their idiotic wailing, and spend their days trying to lure off-leash labradoodles into the bushes.
Conservationists say this is what a thriving biosphere looks like. “If then human reaction to wildlife is awe, or ‘aww!’, animals are generally in trouble,” said Toff. “We know we’ve been successful when the response is ‘Move!’, ‘Get away!”, or “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”