Editor’s Note: Introducing the Weekend Spotlight, a new weekly feature that reflects our commitment to short-form reportage. Every Friday, readers can now look forward to a few things to worry about, maybe one thing to do, and another thing to read and go, “What!?”
-Marin Lately Staff
Woman Coughing on Larkspur Ferry Thrown Overboard
Passengers on the ferry were initially patient with the infected woman, with several people moving seats to accommodate her. But with her mild cold at risk of spreading to more important commuters, the decision was made to euthanize her via water.
P.T.A. President Seeks Unprecedented Third Term
Sending shockwaves through her district, P.T.A. president Heather Snootely is refusing to relinquish control of the Novato K-8 she has dominated for years. “This is an outrage,” said one parent. “Her kids aren’t even at the school anymore.”
Terra Linda’s Annual Parade of Claims Adjusters This Saturday
This weekend’s procession will honor Terra Linda’s community of insurance inspectors, followed by a reception hosted by the no-nonsense dental secretaries they are married to. Small bags of low-sodium pretzels will be available.
Nature Lover Dressed Head-to-Toe in Petroleum-Based Fabric
Avid hiker, biker and professed environmentalist Alex Chistle drapes himself exclusively in oil-derived synthetic material. “But it’s waterproof, yet breathable,” the man said, of his high-performance outdoor apparel. “Waterproof, yet breathable!”
Every Town in Marin Now Affluent Enclave
The designation once limited to Ross, Tiburon and Mill Valley now accurately describes every town in Marin County. Crews will begin replacing highway signage this week — i.e., Now Entering Corte Madera, Affluent Enclave of 9,947"